And your truth will set you free

Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash

I didn’t learn to accept myself as a gay man until I was 50 or so. My relationship with the closet ranged from deep inside and anxious about it to dismissing the idea that sex, sexual orientation and identity were even important. As I began to emerge from the darkness, I always felt like I was hitting a wall. Something just wouldn’t give. Sometimes it felt internal, sometimes, the push-back came from situations and others. Now, I think I know why.

One of the worst things you can do to someone is to stop being whom they expect.

By the…

Wonderful article and spot-on. We live in a world, actually helped build a world, that is alien to us. I often feel like a walker-between-worlds who belongs to none, except the world of queerness. And even then, there are dissonances because I arrived at the party quite late. I used to hate the idea of coming out because I saw it as a ritual of appeasment, explaining/justifying my difference as an offering to gain some form of acceptance. It still kind of gets my blood pressure up. Regardless, comfort in community allows for strength in the world. Thanks for the reminder.

A traffic circle in a tropical locale.
A traffic circle in a tropical locale.
Photo by Visual Karsa on Unsplash

Every individual is an intersection.

The confluence of characteristics and achievements, roles and responsibilities, desires and prohibitions are a constant pressure of forces, sometimes pulling, sometimes pushing, at each of us on a daily basis. We are born into this world through an act of someone else’s will, an Other’s choice; our birth the result of a probabilistic convergence of recombinant DNA and nine months’ incubation. We dress the results up in Sunday finest with words like fate, “God’s Will,” and notions that “everything happens for a reason.” All bullshit, a palliative to the fragile human ego powerless in an infinite multiverse.

But I digress.

Truth is, boys…

I felt every word of this. Lived every word ( except the kid part) for the last year. Beautifully written, and simply time for all of us to say this as often as we can.

To look in the eyes of the Other is to look into our own soul.

Section of musical score from Lamentations of Jeremiah the Prophet — Thomas Tallis
Section of musical score from Lamentations of Jeremiah the Prophet — Thomas Tallis
Image section of musical score from

He was an 1100 pound Hereford steer, my first 4-H project at the age of nine, and his name was Jeremiah. Our County Agent used to sing Joy to the World every time he walked past Jeremiah at the steer pens, typically with a wistful expression, or maybe just thoughtful. He was a tall, balding man of middle years, kind and supportive to us kids under his direction. I’m pretty sure he didn’t remember the names of the other kids’ steers. Or maybe he did, but those steers didn’t have a theme song.

Music was a joy to me while…

I never attended Seventh and James Baptist Church during my six year sojourn in Waco. My grandfather had grown up in the area, so I made one obligatory visit to the First Baptist Church, and I really don't remember attending any other. I do remember the oppressive atmosphere, the fear of being found out while I was at Baylor. As long as I was in the Library stacks, nose in a book, I was fine. I think it was the pervasive smugness, self righteous and superior. Humililty was a bludgeon, weath a sign of favor and special right to grind down those viewed as sinners. They gave lip-service to being poor sinners, but their voices lacked conviction.

Wide as the hot blue sky

Image licensed from Adobe Stock

Fragility is an all-too-common characteristic of human life…

Yet for all the uncertainty and risk it poses, we endure. Beyond our physical inception, every moment is a beginning; a thought, an act, a feeling, a desire, all embody the fragility of beginnings. How many of them fall to the ground, their potential so many shards of forgotten intent? Since my beginning, I have let fall countless beginnings of ideas, of feelings, of thoughts, all full of potential, but lacking in timing. Or probability. Or the simple will to love and care for it, bringing it to fruition. Or the awareness that some beginnings are worth the effort.


Sunrise over the mountains around Taos, NM
Sunrise over the mountains around Taos, NM

I’ve always been a loner. Always shied away from closeness, disclosure, revelation. Perhaps it is some combination of experience and disposition that sends me on the solitary path. For the bulk of my life, this hasn’t been much of an issue. I have had friends to pass the time socially, but never so close that I couldn’t walk away into the solitude I found more comfortable. But events occurred that invite me to juxtapose solitude and intimacy, to dethrone the intellect that loves solitude and elevate the body that craves connection. This is a new thing; I was firmly Cartesian…

Sunrise over the mountains around Taos, NM
Sunrise over the mountains around Taos, NM
Sunrise on the Devisadero Trail, July 2019

The news on any given day, lately, is replete with instances of “wrong doing” at the highest and most visible levels of American society. This “wrong doing” is not an absolute transgression of a moral standard, but a situationally defined phenomenon. In other words, someone engages in an act that people judge as wrong based on their perspective. This perspectivism is at the heart of the discordant narratives creating the current cacophony on the Internet and other media outlets.

Before we dive into perspectives, I want to set the stage for the inquiry. At the foundation is the notion that…

Henry Lee Butler

Genuine, individuating human seeking to diminish the ego and accentuate the Self, partaking in what life has to offer but in moderation. (He/Him/His)

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